hope

I cant’ stop thinking about u

I can’t seem to move on

Even though I know you have

I can’t

I know you went back to her

You went back to what you know

I honestly never thought you would do what you did to me

But I guess it’s my fault

Maybe I let things go too far

Or it seems they went too far for me

I knew something was wrong with u that day

But still I looked the other way

Maybe it is my fault

Now that I think about it

It was my fault all of it

I should never say yes to u

I should never let u in

It was wrong

Because that’s the kind of thing u do

Or at least that’s what some have said to me

People who know u

I can’t believe I let it happen

It’s so stupid of me to think u would talk to me again

Or look for me

I’m upset, I’m mad to myself for believing

For hoping for things to change

When I know they won’t

I’m feeling things I can’t explain

And don’t even want to explain

I don’t know, maybe all I have to do is forget

But I can’t

There are days when I feel like crying all day long

There are other days that I’m fine

I don’t care I convince myself everything is good

But the I go back, sometimes because I want to

Because I choose to

But some other times it’s different

I can’t stop thinking about u

It was my birthday yesterday,

I knew you wouldn’t call

You haven’t in all this time

Yet I had this stupid hope u would

I think I have the answer

I need you to tell me what happened

But I don’t want u to

Even when things started to go wrong

I didn’t want to hear

‘cause I knew it would hurt a lot

but I still deserve an answer

I still need to know

I was a long ago

But I need and I deserve to know

I hate hope

Hope has always been my worst enemy

I wish somebody would just kill all hope

So I can stop thinking too much and feeling too much

In the end, it doesn’t matter, not really,

When you think about it,

It’s stupid,

It’s being months,

And I…

It’s just stupid,

I hate hope…

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